Everything comes with a price

Each passing day, I walk across the apple tree where red shiny apples are dangling on the branches. These aren’t just some ordinary apples, even though they may appear so.
If you pluck one and eat it without wishing upon it, then it stays as an ordinary apple. However, with the right approach and mindset, the apples provide healing powers. If you eat an apple with the wish to free yourself from anxiety, it will indeed take away some anxiety of you. Sounds like too good to be true, right?

Yes, indeed it is too good to be true because the downside is:

Everything comes with a price

The moment you decide to pluck one of those healing apples and made a wish to eliminate all your hidden pains, you also need to be aware that once you wish your pains away, you will lose on the other hand the potential to feel complete.

Because on the other side of pain lays everything you have ever wanted for yourself to become happy. However, without the ability to feel pain, we are not 100% able to feel joy either. It’s not the one or another, because it belongs together.

A long time ago, I wished upon a healing apple to eliminate the most darkest period of my life. My wish was fulfilled once I took a bite of it, but it didn’t taste healing at all. It tasted tremendously bitter as if I ate a poisoned apple from the evil witch. As if it warned me not to take another bite of it.

But it was already too late, because the price I needed to pay was greater than my wish to forget my past.

By trying to forget my past, I couldn’t live in the present, nevermind even think about the future. I didn’t even dare to think about it.
Past experiences are the things which shapes us as an individual. By forcing myself to forget a part of it means that I was pretending to be someone else by accident. You cannot force yourself to be someone else. You are never destined to be another person.

Healing isn’t about erasing all what have pained us.

It’s about finally reaching the part where we embrace all of it, even though we still feel afraid letting it take a place in our heart. It’s about moving on, without forgetting it. It’s about feeling that pain every now and then, but knowing you are now stronger than before. And when do you know this? When feelings of pain isn’t only the ones wandering through you, but also bits of joyful feelings when you look back on your painful moments. Because you survived it, even though you thought you would never get over it.

I guess apples are forbidden fruit for a reason.

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